So I was watching the funny video from Ellen that Amanda posted on the Haunted House. And seeing how Andy was being made fun of for being scared and hiding behind Amy? I can’t remember their names but the point is the male producer was scared and being teased for it. And I don’t know if it was just me, but it all came to me. Yes, the man box prevents men from being emotional. Like being afraid, sad, confused, lonely, heartbroken, distraught, frustrated, hurt, betrayed. Men aren’t supposed to be tender, vulnerable, or soft. And that bothers me. Emotion is what makes us human. So then I had another thought. As a woman, I can’t count the number of times I have preached and gone on about the sexual objectification of women. Women are seen as objects or tools to be used. But only now do I see how men’s objectification is a huge deal too. Maybe men aren’t objectified. But they are certainly dehumanized. Because if a person is not free to feel in their lives, then they are not truly experiencing life.
And then I came back to my Invisible Knapsack. I can add another privilege to my list I have always taken for granted. I can feel whatever emotion I want, at anytime or place. And yeah. Sure if I cry in public people might make a remark like “she’s a girl; its expected.” Because emotions are associated with women. But you know, I no longer see that as an insult. Sure its sexist and ignorant, but who’s the real victim here? At least I can show when I’m hurt. I don’t have to strip myself of what makes me human so that I am accepted by society. Think about it. Because I can only think of one time I have EVER seen a man cry. And I was the only other person in the room. A girl can cry in public and people will at least accept it. Should a man cry in public he’d be disgraced. Its unheard of. Just food for thought.
Our ‘slut-shaming’ culture
This is an interview from msnbc conducted by Chris Hayes. He sits down with a panel of women and they discuss rape, sexual assault, drinking, and slut-shaming. It ties in really well with the discussion we were having on friday and is worth watching.
I had watched this on ABC News awhile ago, I had thought about it when we were kind of talking about Transgender.
This is festive and relevant. Enjoy!
Ever since the discussion of where the majority of cuss words come from, they stick out a lot more, especially with “pussy” being used to insult someone, (usually a male), as a synonym for wimp or something of the nature. And I want to say something… but I just don’t.
And just yesterday, my female friend was talking to one of our guy friends, and she called him a “girl” for some reason I can’t remember right now… But it (was in a derogatory fashion/had a negative connotation)! That’s all that matters! But back to the point, I was a little disappointed that my friend had used “girl” as an insult, which lead me to realize that I use the phrase “I’m such a girl.” I usually say that when I get upset about something happening, and then I’ll tell a guy, and he’ll just be like “okay…” It makes me feel like I’m overreacting, and so I’ll play it off like “I’m such a girl,” “I’m having my emotions again.” I don’t want to say it, but I’m not at a point in my feminism-ness where I can stand up and do confrontations. (It also doesn’t help that I’m not much of a confrontational person.)
I found this to be very eye-opening and concerning. What I thought was interesting was that more than 3 of my guy friends shared this link, and it gave me somewhat hope that at least these issues are seen problematic.