Contains both the good and the bad. But the bad is ugly.
So, I don’t know about you guys, but with the holiday season rolling around, I am constantly bombarded with VS commercials while watching my TV! Which of course makes me extremely self conscious about my body as I just ate a TON over Thanksgiving….anyway. I was scrolling through the internet and found this link! Check it out! Apparently these feminists in Baltimore created a fake line of underwear and made it look like it was from PINK! The fake underwear had slogans like “No Means No” or “Consent is Sexy” in rebuttal to an ACTUAL VS panty that said; “Yes, No, Maybe” or even “For Sure” I have a bunch of feelings about all this, but I’d love to hear you guys’ feedback!
I went to see Catching Fire this weekend; it was awesome! And given discussion last week, I thought this video was both interesting and relevant. Check it out! I hope she does this process for the Catching Fire movie too!
So I was watching the funny video from Ellen that Amanda posted on the Haunted House. And seeing how Andy was being made fun of for being scared and hiding behind Amy? I can’t remember their names but the point is the male producer was scared and being teased for it. And I don’t know if it was just me, but it all came to me. Yes, the man box prevents men from being emotional. Like being afraid, sad, confused, lonely, heartbroken, distraught, frustrated, hurt, betrayed. Men aren’t supposed to be tender, vulnerable, or soft. And that bothers me. Emotion is what makes us human. So then I had another thought. As a woman, I can’t count the number of times I have preached and gone on about the sexual objectification of women. Women are seen as objects or tools to be used. But only now do I see how men’s objectification is a huge deal too. Maybe men aren’t objectified. But they are certainly dehumanized. Because if a person is not free to feel in their lives, then they are not truly experiencing life.
And then I came back to my Invisible Knapsack. I can add another privilege to my list I have always taken for granted. I can feel whatever emotion I want, at anytime or place. And yeah. Sure if I cry in public people might make a remark like “she’s a girl; its expected.” Because emotions are associated with women. But you know, I no longer see that as an insult. Sure its sexist and ignorant, but who’s the real victim here? At least I can show when I’m hurt. I don’t have to strip myself of what makes me human so that I am accepted by society. Think about it. Because I can only think of one time I have EVER seen a man cry. And I was the only other person in the room. A girl can cry in public and people will at least accept it. Should a man cry in public he’d be disgraced. Its unheard of. Just food for thought.
Wow. I am truly disgusted. Never have I ever cussed at my computer screen. And after having read “The Case Against Female Self-Esteem” I can honestly say I have never encountered such sexism before in my life.
And while I firmly believe that all of what he said is garbage, and he is a misogynist to the EXTREME, I also could understand itty bitty microscopic pieces of reason. And the only part is this; I think it is important for women to be vulnerable sometimes. And the way he argues it is 125% wrong. He says confident women have nothing to be confident about and secretly want to be dominated or praised and I think that is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. However, I will say this. Vulnerability is one of the most beautiful aspects of HUMANITY. And it is associated with women, because women are usually the ones more emotionally in touch with their inner selves. It is also more socially acceptable for women to be vulnerable and insecure. That being said; men are just as insecure if not more so than women. Remember the “man box”? All that pressure to be strong, the protector, the one who is always brave and has it together. That is a lot of pressure for any human. And after having dated my boyfriend for 13 months I can easily say my being vulnerable, has allowed him to trust me more, respect me more, and has reassured him that its okay to be insecure; to want reassurances, to open yourself to people. He has been more open with me than any other person. And I think that as a woman, my vulnerability is a thing of beauty, that helps me relate to others. And Matt kinda maybe sorta touched on how female vulnerability enables men to feel manly. Which is great. WOOHOO. But no real “man” let alone any person should feel good about themselves at the expense of another person’s self worth. And that is my rant for the night.
(I’m back! YAY:))
So ever since we talked about feminism in Hollywood I’ve kinda been on a subconscious boycott of both Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Their refusal to call themselves feminists despite the messages their music projects really irritated me. And honestly I don’t care if they did say it just to protect their image from the negative connatation of what feminism is. The fact is that so many young women and people look up to them as inspiration and the last thing we need are young girls growing up thinking that feminism means hating men. That just sets our goals backwards. These celebrities have the power to make an impact and change how people view feminism!
So I thought about female celebrities and artists that we didn’t discuss and though they might not have made public statements about feminism, have conducted themselves in a way that proves their stance. And without further ado; my favorite, Beyonce Knowles.
I love Beyonce. She embodies sexual liberation without exploiting herself as some stars often do. She is proud of who she is; she embraces her womanhood as well as her ethnicity. I think she is also a great representation of intersectionality. And her music; if her anthem “Who Run the World” doesn’t prove her views, then perhaps her ballad “If I Were a Boy.” I love both songs. There are also messages in “Single Ladies” and “Irreplaceable” that really show how she refuses to be taken for granted or disrespected by anyone let alone a man! Maybe tomorrow in class when we see “Work Bitch” by Britney, we could compare it to a Beyonce video:)
So this weekend was my little sister’s homecoming dance. I went home to be there with her, help her primp, offer advice, and take the customary homecoming photos with her. However once she saw pictures of herself, all she could say was; “I look hideous! I look so fat and ugly!” So I decided to post this photo of us together in the hopes of getting more unbiased feedback. Because when I look at this picture I see myself, with a beautiful young woman (and I don’t know if I’m biased as her sister?) But I do know for a fact that she is NOT fat nor hideous. I guess what I’m trying to say is how sad it makes me when girls compare themselves to each other, or worse to celebrities, or when all they see when they look at themselves are their percieved flaws. I know I’m guilty of all those things. I just wish that the pressures and influences of society were less appearance based. I wish the media would use their influence to inspire people to be hard workers, good people, and to spread positivity instead of convincing us that there is always something wrong with us, and we should strive to fit an impossible standard of perfect physical womanhood.
So I just saw Miss America 2013 crowned; Miss New York! So I’ll admit that I don’t take those girls seriously. At all. I mean granted its gotten better trough the years, and now there is a talent competition and the questions are usually pretty good, but I think its a beauty pageant. I for one can’t stand watching a bunch of seemingly intelligent and talented girls sway with vapid expressions and caked on makeup; don’t even get me started on the swimsuit competition. Don’t get me wrong! If you got if, flaunt it! But it drives me crazy to know that there are bunches of girls out there thinking; “There’s something wrong with me. I don’t look anything like that.” And there are plenty of people out there who just watch it for a bunch of scantily clad beautiful women. I feel like Miss America should have feature the real women of America. The hard workers who truly represent what America is supposed to be about; opprotunity and hard work. Not spray tan, formal gowns and swimsuits. Because what does that say about America? Beauty will get you places in life. But beauty is only skin deep. And there were plenty of talented women, intelligent, hard working girls on there. I guess what I’m trying to articulate is I want more of questions, talents, and finding out about who these women are; not what they would look like in underwear. More substance, because as a woman, I want to be valued more for who I am, not what I look like.